why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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