That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
