see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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