You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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