he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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