Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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