You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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