Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
