the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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