We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize