my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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