Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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