he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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