it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
