OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
