Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
