): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize