You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
