shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
