who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she peed on how many people?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am available for nakedness
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