As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
