Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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