I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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