Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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