What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
did i just pee glitter
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
