this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
