i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize