Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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