Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
