I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
