were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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