You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
