Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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