my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
