k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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