Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize