I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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