I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Come see our sink grown plant.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
