i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
