is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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