so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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