i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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