I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
