Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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