OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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