So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
