She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
