Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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