She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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