Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
