I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
