I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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