They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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