I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
