yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
