Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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