They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
