We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
