i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
