youre lurking in front of me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
