cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
