This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
